Certain moments in life make you take a step back and look at where you are, what you have been doing, and the person you have been. Is it a good thing to have that introspection thrust in your face? If it provides a needed shock to the system, that swift, spiritual kick in the pants that gets you going, then I suppose it is a good thing.

Tonight I realized I still may be far more broken than I had realized.

That’s not necessarily terrible, it just means that things are in process. Half the time I feel like my life was a jigsaw puzzle taking shape, with most of the pieces in place. But then somthing came crashing down, scattering my pieces across the ground. When I began to put the jigsaw back together, it started taking shape in a far different pattern than before. And I guess I’m trying to wrap my head around what that pattern means, and how who I am fits in with that.

One thing I’ve noticed is that I am far less serious than I used to be. Which, overall is a good thing, but there is a certain level of seriousness that I want to get back, because without it my ability to speak deeply and connect deeply with others is marginalized.

And while I’m in this sharing mood, I suppose I should thank the person who got me thinking about all this tonight. Most of our conversations have been joking and banter, but I think there’s a lot there I would like to get to know.

Yesterday was one of those days. You know, the kind that you just enjoy from beginning to end, the kind that make you stop for a moment and just reflect on how wonderful it is to be alive and able to enjoy the world we live in. And it was the kind of day that makes me glad I live in an area where so many old out of shape men will strip down naked for a footrace across San Francisco (ok, kidding.)

But the footrace, the 98th running of the Bay to Breakers race across San Francisco, was awesome. I ran with several other people from the company I work for and the experience was so much better for it. I’ve been somewhat of a loner in so many aspects of my life (especially when it comes to sports and exercise), and recently I’ve begun to understand what I have been missing out on in not experiencing these things with other people.

It’s an important lesson to learn, and one that I think I will have to work hard to make sure I fully integrate into my own mindset and how I interact in the world.

Well, a new year is almost upon us, and even though this blog has only been around for a couple months, I felt like a new look was in order.  It’s a pretty clean look, and I think it should be easy to read.  I’ve also put a “recent comments” box near the top, so should you make a comment, you too can be a star like me and have tens of thousands of readers view your writings.