Aaron Burke’s blog as works works and learns to become a successful entrepreneur and travel the world

I find this performance of the Jackson 5 to be amazing - an absolute showcase of the talent Michael displayed even at a young age.

There’s a little comedy bit at the beginning of the clip - skip to the 1:20 mark to see the music start.

Certain moments in life make you take a step back and look at where you are, what you have been doing, and the person you have been. Is it a good thing to have that introspection thrust in your face? If it provides a needed shock to the system, that swift, spiritual kick in the pants that gets you going, then I suppose it is a good thing.

Tonight I realized I still may be far more broken than I had realized.

That’s not necessarily terrible, it just means that things are in process. Half the time I feel like my life was a jigsaw puzzle taking shape, with most of the pieces in place. But then somthing came crashing down, scattering my pieces across the ground. When I began to put the jigsaw back together, it started taking shape in a far different pattern than before. And I guess I’m trying to wrap my head around what that pattern means, and how who I am fits in with that.

One thing I’ve noticed is that I am far less serious than I used to be. Which, overall is a good thing, but there is a certain level of seriousness that I want to get back, because without it my ability to speak deeply and connect deeply with others is marginalized.

And while I’m in this sharing mood, I suppose I should thank the person who got me thinking about all this tonight. Most of our conversations have been joking and banter, but I think there’s a lot there I would like to get to know.

I went out Friday night to a couple clubs in SF, got drunk, and woke up the next morning incredibly pissed off at myself. I guess it was just one of the “what the eff am I doing?” moments. And what I am doing is repeating old pattens that are not productive and bring me no lasting joy.

But it is so easy to fall back into those old patterns, even when it seemed you had escaped them, even when months and years have passed since you last operated within those paradigms.

I guess that’s why alcoholics who go into twelve step programs often completely abstain from drinking; it’s the only way the can prevent themselves from falling back into alcohol abuse.

So Saturday morning was a realization in so many ways. It got me thinking about what I have been doing, and how many opportunities I have been squandering because I have not put forth the commitment and effort necessary to achieve high levels of success.

I’m pissed off, and I’m going to stay pissed off until I get this right, dammit.

This is total errata, but awesome just the same. Actually, it’s even more awesome because I know exactly where this was filmed, and it’s one of my favorite places to get a great view of the whole San Francisco Bay.

Enjoy:

“L’enfer est plein de bonnes volontés ou désirs.” (Hell is full of good intentions and desires.)

St Bernard of Clairvaux (c.1150)

For years I have heard this quote or derivations thereof (the road to hell is paved with good intentions), and for years I took it to mean that people can, if they aren’t careful, do evil even when their original desire was to do good. But I had an epiphany this morning - well, more like a minor realization. I realized that I know a large number of people who honestly desire to do certain things, and make promises or commitments, and then do not follow through with their promises. I have been that person many, many times. In fact, I think that most of the people I know fall into the category of offering or committing to more than they ever actually deliver.

And then it hit me: hell is not a place of fire and eternal torment. Hell is a place of “what ifs” and “if onlys” and “I should haves”. Hell is coming to this realization at the end of a life spent poorly. And from what I have seen, the men and women who do what they say when they say they will have it done on a consistent basis are rare, and they more often than not are exceptional people.

I am not one of those people.

Yet.

But as I came further and further into my understanding of what is important to me in life, the more I find that I am willing to do what is necessary to be that kind of person.

Here’s to good actions, not just good intentions.

Yeah, I got hit by a car today. I was riding my nice, carbon-fiber framed road bike home from work, going up a hill, and some guy in his 60’s at a stop sign didn’t look in my direction before plowing right into me. I kinda flew off my bike. It was my first experience getting hit by a 3000+ pound chuck of metal and it was pretty interesting.

It should be pretty obvious I’m not hury, otherwise I would a) be in the hospital and b) not be so nonchalant about the whole thing. Other than a bloodied knee and a couple sore places on me, I’m totally fine. And I voluntarily get myself more beat up than this when I spar with people and get punched in the face.

So yeah, no big deal physically.

I was pretty pissed about my bike though. I’m taking it in tomorrow to see whether the frame is cracked, which would mean the whole bike needs to get replaced. Luckily I got all the guy’s info so he can pay for it in that eventuality. But I totally don’t want that to happen, because it would be a complete pain in the ass to deal with. I’m already annoyed about having to take my bike in a be without it for a week or so while it gets looked at.

What totally amuses me is that yesterday I bought a new pair of motorcycle pants to protect myself when riding my motorcycle. Then today I decide to ride my bike into work instead, and I get plowed into. Grr.

I think I’m beginning to really enjoy documentary movies more than almost any other type of movie. Two thoughts come into my head as I type these words:

1) I’m getting old

2) I’m acquiring taste

Or, I suppose, 3) I’m becoming a snob. Whatever. I’ve seen two cool documentaries recently - one on beer, and one on yoga, and I really enjoyed the human element in both of them, seeing actual struggles that people were going through, and how they overcame (or didn’t overcome) the difficulties they were facing.

I would particularly recommend that documentary I saw last night, “Enlighten up”, for anyone who does yoga, or has made any significant changes in their life recently. It was fun to see a normal guy who had never done yoga before embark on a “yoga quest” and travel from New York to Hawaii to India in search of a guru and some sort of spiritual awakening. Did he find what he was looking for? I think that he did, but not everyone I saw the movie with was convinced he attained any sort of significant insight during his journey. But if you’re the kind of person who takes classes where you pretzel yourself on a regular basis, you owe it to yourself to check out this great documentary.

Real people are just more interesting. (But I don’t watch reality tv!)

When I started this blog, I did it for fun, just to have my own web page. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with it at all, but after getting some suggestions I decided to focus on business stuff and what I was going through after quitting my job.

Well, I kinda stopped doing that when I felt like I had nothing interesting to say. I still feel like I don’t have anything interesting to say. So screw it, this blog will be just for me. Kinda like a diary, but without so many inner thoughts and juicy details. Maybe something I can look back on to get an idea of my mindset for these particular moments in my life.

So here we go, my blog, diary-style:

Today I went bowling with Dave. I tried to spin the ball, but it hurt my wrist. So I stopped. I didn’t bowl well. It was still fun though. Then I went home and paid some bills and stuff. Now I’m watching the Sharks game, and they are losing. It sucks. But the Chinese food I had for dinner was good. Really good.

Since I started my new job, which puts a big emphasis on exercise, fitness, and healthy living, I’ve been on a bit of a fitness kick. I started doing yoga again (going to a Bikram Yoga studio), I’ve been riding my bicycle the 10 miles to work, and I think I’m finally going to sign up for my first olympic distance triathlon. 

I run and I bike ride, but I don’t swim much on a regular basis, and that needs to change. So I purchased a season pass to the community pool near where I live and went there for a swim of about 2/3 of a mile today.

It felt great and left me feeling a really good sore. After the swim I rewarded myself by lounging by the pool on a deck chair and reading for a bit. That’s where the dumbness comes in.

See, I have fairly pale skin, and I burn easily. I had no sunscreen on. But somehow I thought laying out in the sun at 1pm and reading for a while would be a good idea. Then I went home and sat in the sun some more.

And now I have lobstered myself.

Why do I get older, yet still repeat the same behaviors that cause me pain and discomfort? Like drinking too much, or rolling around in Poison Oak, for instance. Dumb dumb Aaron.

Over the years I’ve realized that I get sick a lot. Well, I don’t know if a lot is correct, but probably more than the average person. I definitely never minded taking a sick day when I was in school, and at my last job I was pretty much free to take a sick day whenever I needed one. But now that I’ve been sick these last few days, I’m really annoyed at the whole situation. I can barely get anything done. And there are personal business things I really need to get done.

I never really cared if I got behind at work in my old jobs. (Ok, that’s an exaggeration because I did care, it just didn’t really affect my paycheck much.) But as things start getting ramped up in a few different business opportunities I’ve been pursuing, I am feeling every little delay as some lost future revenue, or as a delay in generating revenue, and it is pissing me off. Being sick is pissing me off. It’s not nice and relaxing and lay in bed all day like it used to be. Grr.